Medicine for the Soul
Two years ago, I sold everything I had, put a bookmark on my dreams and returned home as a full-time caregiver for my aging mother. While God told me I was to return home, He did not give me the details on when, how and why. (Isaiah 55:9, NIV) Although I tried preparing for it, I quickly learned, some things on God’s radar, He will not allow interference with our imperfect planning, or strategy. At times, He orchestrates what looks like a melt-down in order to accomplish “His mission”.
From my viewpoint, recent experiences seemed more a disappointment; from God’s vantage point, “rougher waters” represented a sacred formula: long-suffering + persevering = fortified and yes, progress. (Jeremiah 1:18, NIV) To the natural man, disappointment and long-suffering seem counterintuitive to progress, but to God, they were a perfectly mastered orchestration toward destiny. (Galatians 5:22, NIV)
What made my transition particularly difficult, was the tremendous uncertainty, loss of control, and immense relational turmoil. Character of friendships were exposed, emotions were raw and vulnerable, and dreams God spoke seemed on hold indefinitely. (Deborah M. Jackson Ministries)
The home I moved from had become my sanctuary and safe place. Recently, I re-subjugated my will and plans to God and in return I watched Him take me higher. (Luke 22:42) My prayer life transformed, my discernment matured, my relationship with God grew even more intimately. I personally experienced miracles and supernatural manifestations into my world like never before. Out of this, “date night” with my Savior was born.
I still wanted more of God personally – more of His Glory, more of His presence, more of His power, more of His wisdom, more connection with His thoughts, more more more. Scripture became more than a map; it became medicine for my emotions (i.e. soul). Prayer began giving me power, and worship brought more confidence and connection to my Father.
Soon, God knew I was ready. In the right time, I left my peaceful sanctuary and place of refuge to walk into “raging waters” filled with anger, confusion, spiritual warfare and conflict. (Acts 1:7) How in the world could this be God’s will? For a brief moment I wondered, did I get it all wrong? As my grandmother always said, “baby God writes straight with crooked lines.” On the surface the fires were flaming but on the inside God was fortifying me – “transformed but not consumed”. (Daniel 3:23-26, NIV)
Amidst all the distractions, one day the Spirit illuminated “the strategy” and the way out – I am the way and the light, draw unto Me daughter.” (John 14:6, John 15:5) He sent a few key people to cover me spiritually and speak words of life and knowledge into my heart. (Psalm 91:1, NIV) “Recreate your sacred place with me”, He said. Immediately I complied. No matter what distraction, or how much I was needed – God reminded me, I needed Him more and that “I could do all things through Him who would strengthen me according to His purpose. (Philippians 4:13)
I do not know what hell feels like, and I know I will never go but for about six months I sure felt the fires were burning all around me – one conflict after another, shouting matches, emotional tug of wars, confusion, hurtful words spoken to me and so much more. Alzheimer’s thought it could take my family out. (Healed3D) But God knew better. “Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.”
(Psalm 55:17, NIV)
I started to retreat to my “sacred space” with God. I would pour out my heart, my hurts, my pains, my fears, my weaknesses, my inadequacies – then God would fill me up with His supernatural power and clarity and discernment and strength. I would go in “one way” and come out another – whole, renewed, restored and ready.
In my secret space and time with God, He reminded me, I fortified you, I’ve been preparing you for this, “connect into Me, the source of your strength.” (Psalm 59:17, NIV) I’ve shown you the patterns and methods of how I communicate with you. My voice is distinguishable to you now. I removed all the other voices – it is the two of us together.
“This sickness is not unto death but to bring Glory to Me.” (John 11:4, NIV) I am your medicine, I will infuse you with oxygen to breathe through the pain, I will inject you with power to live through the fear. I will give you authority to take back what the devil stole. I will cover you with anointing and bring healing into this place. I will make a way out of no way. I will bring salvation, restoration, joy and hope.
You will share with others all that I have shared with you. I am your God and you belong to Me. I am the one who makes all things right and new again. (Revelation 21:5, Isaiah 43:19, NIV)